My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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