I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
