i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ambien. No doubt about it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
