and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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