I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
