So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
