My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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