false alarm. still invincible.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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