...so i touched it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
