maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
