i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
