I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
