The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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