break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
