Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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