if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
