I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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