so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
