the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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