Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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