can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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