normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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