Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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