Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
