God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
