yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You're a waste of cheezeits
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
