hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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