Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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