STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
