You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
