Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
