i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
