Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
