She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
