it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
