well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
