I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
