evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
