Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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