what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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