i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
