they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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