I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
