i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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