Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
