I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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