I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Barsexuality is the new black.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
