Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
