If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
