She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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